I started this specific potty training series in March. MARCH you guys and that was after we started actual potty training in JANUARY. Can we PLEASE just freaking be DONE with potty training?! No, no we can not.
Jack was 90% potty trained before the move. I say 90% because we couldn’t get pants on him without him peeing, he was fine in just undies. So he was potty trained, but we couldn’t leave our house in underwear. I’m sure this is totally normal. Huh.
So then we moved and screwed it all up. I’m talking back to 0% guys. All that time and energy totally wasted. Buying training pants and diapers again is horrible. Just when you think you’ll have an extra $50 or so a month to add to your babysitting fund…bam! No more date nights, lots more dirty diapers. Thanks son.
I feel like this is my third time potty training but I only have two children so the math just doesn’t add up. It’s a total nightmare and I can’t wake up. The light at the end of the tunnel has been shut off. I can’t even get IN the tunnel, it’s closed for repair and only my two year old can decide when it reopens.
He’ll be three at the end of this month and I’m trying so hard not to push it. If I’ve learned anything over the last few years, it’s that he will do it when he’s ready to do it. There is nothing I can do to help things along…just keep talking about it, encouraging him and giving him a pound of sugar every time a rabbit sized pellet get’s put into the toilet. I can only cross my fingers, pray and lead the way to the bathroom. The rest is up to him.
My daughter was SO much either. I know this isn’t the case for everyone, but I can’t help but compare my kids. Layla was a potty queen, even dry most nights by 3. I’m convinced Jack is trying to push the limits of exactly how much an overnight diaper will hold. “That’s a heavy, stinky diaper Mommy!!”- he says some mornings with a big grin on his face as I wipe his booty. Boys are so different in so many ways and potty training just adds a whole round of new adventures for us.
New moms of prepotty trained boys, listen up!
Boys require an extra potty training step. It’s called “The Tuck” and it is 100% critical to teach them first thing. If you have a sitter, you need a tucker.
You may not allow guns in the house, but boys come with one attached. It’s a squirt gun and they WILL learn to use it as a weapon. I’m not sure exactly what age this starts but you think newborn baby pee is bad, try getting hit with urine after the boy has had 2 apple juice boxes. Which brings me to…
You will get pee on your face. Not just on your face, in your hair. And I won’t go into specifics but it will also get into your mouth and you’ll forever wonder how on earth Bear Grylls can drink his own pee on reality TV.
Do you have a small bathroom? Take down all hand towels, picture frames, decorative candles and fake plants. Then run straight to Costco and buy all the Clorox wipes in stock. Go home and put those wipes in the small bathroom’s vanity cabinet, then take a clear plastic garbage bag (this may take more than one) and wrap ANYTHING left in that bathroom in plastic. Seal it with duck tape. Then, and ONLY then, will your stuff be safe from pee. You’ll need to repaint the walls, ceiling and tear out the flooring when you’ve finally completed your potty training mission. Then you’ll need to redo the same bathroom after they go to college. Because no matter what you do, boys miss.
The last adventure we haven’t reached yet. I’m assuming it’s the holy grail of being a boy, us girls just can’t possibly understand the importance of it which is why I’m waiting to share knowledge of it to my son. It’s the power of standing, and I’ll never be prepared for it. Mainly because if he can inspire me to write the above paragraph after potty training for 8 months, why on EARTH would I let him STAND and PEE at the same TIME? I’m not ready for this power to be given to my toddler. Would it make things easier? Maybe. Would it make things messier? Absolutely.
For the love, PLEASE let this be my last potty training post. I do not want to write another one. I’m not sure I have anything else to say on this subject so I will end with this- something I’ve said time and time again.
Potty training sucks.