You carry exact change ($2.11) to Target so you can get your kids popcorn and yourself a soft drink.
The cashier at Target knows you like your popcorn in two bags. Fine. So some of the popcorn is for the kids…and some is for you.
Ok so (apparently) the only place you ever go to is TARGET.
You do your hair and makeup for your first date night in over 6 months and your children cry because they don’t recognize you.
Your version of dressing “nice” is a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.
Your kids completely ignore every word that comes out of your mouth until Daddy is home.
You’ve had the same unicorn crafts hanging from your dining room chandelier for 4 months and probably won’t take them down until Christmas.
You make endless amounts of lists.
You always loose your to do lists.
Your lunch consists of a half eaten cheese toastie (that’s a grilled cheese for most of you), the orange Scooby Doo gummies that your kid picked out of their bag and string cheese.
You’ve been on an important phone call as your preschooler screams “I poooooooooped come wipe meeeeeeee!!!!” in the background.
The longest hours of your day are between 3:30 and 5…right before Daddy comes home.
Your car looks like the breakfast aisle threw up in it. Is that apple juice on the sunroof?
You’ve had to jump out of the shower, suds in hair and all, to help your potty training toddler get on the potty.
You’ve used a laundry basket as a school bus, choo choo train or any other means of transportation down a hallway.
You’ve ever eaten a chocolate bar in your closest so you don’t have to share.
You consider going to the mailbox to get today’s mail an adventure.
You thought I was lying about the unicorn crafts didn’t you? It’s too sad NOT to be true: