A million thoughts go through my head. Change him inside and get the stroller dirty? Change him in the back of the car and not have access to a sink and paper towels? Only the hose hookups that the fire department uses for a mall fire seem appropriate.
I go for option 2 and lay a blanket down in the trunk of my SUV. I get out a clean diaper, all my wipes (why do I only have 5 wipes?!?!) and an extra clean outfit ready. I lay Jack down on the blanket, count to 5 as a draw in a deep breath and start unsnapping his romper.
My God the horror. There was poop out both sides of the diaper, up the front and so far up the back that it came out of his neck hole. I decided to tackle the outfit first. Jack now has poop all over his feet, arms, back, belly and in his hair. I only have 5 wipes.
I peel the first wipe off the tiny pile and start with his head. Second wipe for his arms. Third wipe for his belly…fourth and fifth for his back…I’m out of wipes.
At this point I didn’t see any other option but to wrap his filthy body in a blanket and carry him in. Thank God I found another small thing of wipes when I went to get a clean blanket. I’ve never been so happy to see 10 more wipes in my life.
I clean up the rest of his body and peel back the diaper. It’s contents pour out onto the blanket he’s laying on, the back of my car and all over my hands. I just want grab my kids, set fire to my car and run away.