Making friends is not always the easy. Especially when you are new—whether it is a town, school, neighborhood, library class, or gym.
Lets face it:
Making friends is like dating!
You have to read your environment: Are you supposed to talk about your kids?? Talk about yourself?? Or talk about the weather??
Do’s and Don’ts when making friends when in a “mommy setting”:
- Do give the other child a compliment.
- Do not just rave over how cute they are….talk about their behavior, manners, and friendship.
- Do talk about what you do for fun.
- Do not talk about how many friends you have so it sounds like you don’t have time for new friends.
- Do talk about how you love to be a mom.
- Do not complain about how your child drives you craaaaaaazy all the time.
- Do talk about how being a mom is difficult from time to time.
- Do not say how perfect your child and life as a mom is. (trust me…no one will want to be your friend)
- Do not do “other-mothering” (Mothering other kids)
- Do redirect as needed in a friendly manner if appropriate.
Do’s and Don’ts when making friends in a “non-mommy setting”:
- Do not introduce yourself as “_______’s mom”. (Hello!! You have an identity too!)
- Do introduce yourself with confidence. Be proud of who YOU are. And then you can apologize for the spoiled milk spilled on your shirt 🙂
- Do talk about what YOU like to do for fun. …movies, workout, shopping….
- Do not talk about what you do with your child for fun. …dress-up, play barbies, super heroes…
- Do talk about yourself as an “I”, not as “WE”…when you are talking about just yourself.
- Do talk about how you enjoy your children and being a mommy.
- Do not brag about how you are the perfect mom or how you dislike being a mom…both are turn-offs.
And, as always, be yourself!
If you are yourself, friendly, and kind you will bound to make friends!!