1. Your boobs grow. They get monstrous. Allow me to elaborate. At first they hurt..bad. Then, they are amazing…huge, porn star, everyone look at me-I don’t even need a bra they are so perky. And then, in month 8-9 you may want hubby to stay away from your girls as your body is preparing for breastfeeding (just saying).
2. Stretch marks happen. It is true. I thought they were veins. Nope, just gorgeous, deep, purple marks on my legs, butt, and tummy. (They do fade…but I don’t think they really go away. Oh, and those creams don’t really work!)
3. Unless you are freak of nature (lucky girl) baby does not only grow in your belly. You may think baby’s twin is growing in your ass. And your legs…they may double in size, as well,….mine did!
4. We cannot all look like the cute girl with a basketball under our shirts. I wish it was my calling, but it was not. Instead, you may get to rock the ‘you are only that far along’….‘are you sure there is only one in there’….and ‘you should really lay off the ice cream at night’. (awesome for the ego)
5. Your tummy will get so large you cannot see your feet. Which also means you cannot see other things. Hope you clean up nicely blind!
6. By month 7 or 8 you will no longer be able to wear your pre-pregnancy underwear….you will need to get a larger size.
(Thongs are no longer optional.)
7. Some people say that being pregnant is the most beautiful they have ever felt. I want what they are having!!
8. Things start leaking from you a few weeks before you deliver. I called my doctor’s office three times to confirm this was normal. She assured me it was. (Sure doesn’t seem normal!)
9. You may have really strange dreams….sometimes they are pretty amazing too. What did you dream about last night?!?
10. Your boobs grew between the time you read #1 and NOW.